Blue Monday usually falls on the third Monday of every New Year, and is considered the most “depressing” day on the calendar. In 2021, that’s 18 January. But despite its widespread acceptance, there is no scientific evidence to suggest the third Monday of the year is any more or less depressing than any other day. ‘Blue Monday’ appears to have originated in 2005, in a press release from a holiday company and TV channel Sky Travel.

The PR industry has kept the notion of Blue Monday going but a lot of good has come from Blue Monday too. In 2020, Samaritans handed out cups of tea at rail stations to help morning commuters get through the day, encouraging them to share a cup of tea with someone in their office who may be feeling lonely. ‘Brew Monday’, a day when connecting with others over a cuppa can help weather the ups and downs of life.

We also need companies changing Blue to Orange to spread some joy, like Brock Carmichael with their Orange Monday – checkout their new website. it’s important to reach out. In 2021, we need this more than ever.

Here are 30 of the best Blue Monday jokes to put a smile on your face anytime:

  1. People say I have no will power but I’ve quit smoking loads of times.
  2. Successful mimes: it’s always the quiet ones.
  3. What did the cheese say when he looked in the mirror? Halloumi.
  4. Did you hear about the cockle who went to the seafood disco? She pulled a mussel.
  5. As a child I was raised on a points based reward system, the better I was the more points I got and points mean prizes! Just a shame the police don’t have the same ethos.
  6. I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.
  7. What’s at the bottom of the ocean and shivers? A nervous wreck!
  8. How many ears does Spock have? Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear!
  9. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents!
  10. What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
  11. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
  12. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
  13. Two pieces of fruit sat on a hill, suddenly another piece of fruit rolls past. One fruit turns to the other and says: ‘Wow look at that man-go.’
  14. My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad I finally had to take the bike off of him.
  15. What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike? Attire!
  16. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
  17. How do you get rid of a shopaholic? You tell them to shoe!
  18. Ninety nine out of every 100 people have fallen over drunk at some time… what a staggering statistic.
  19. I asked my friend how his first day working down the sewer went. He said he felt drained.
  20. The urge to sing ‘the lion sleeps tonight’ is never more than a whim away.
  21. What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
  22. Blue Monday? Finally a ‘smurf appreciation day!’
  23. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
  24. Two goldfish in a tank. One turns to the other and says ‘how do you drive this thing?’
  25. Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
  26. Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
  27. Why did the ruler get fired? Because he couldn’t measure up.
  28. Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team? Because she kept running from the ball!
  29. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows!
  30. Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump!