Some ‘off-the-shelf’ elf jokes which might be good for your ‘elf’:
- Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it ‘soots’ him
- What do you drain your carrots with at Christmas? An advent colander
- Why did the turkey join a rock band? It already had the drumsticks
- What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? Stick with me and we’ll go places
- What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy? She gave him the cold shoulder
- Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor? Because he had low “elf-esteem”!
- What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps!
- Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim!
- What do you call an old snowman? Water!
- Why was the turkey at the band’s concert? It was the drum-stick!
- What do you call a cat on the beach during Christmas time? Sandy Claws!
- What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson!
- What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
- Why don’t you ever see Father Christmas in hospital? Because he has private ‘elf care!
- Why would you invite a mushroom to a Christmas party? He’s a fun guy to be with.
- What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet
- What does Father Christmas do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack.
- What is Santa’s favourite pizza? One that’s deep pan, crisp and even.
- Which football team did Baby Jesus support? Manger-ster United.
- What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar? He got 24 days.
We hope you have a lovely Christmas with friends and family and a fantastic New Year.
All the very best for 2026 and don’t forget we can help with your organisation’s growth, awareness and even ‘keeping you out of the news‘ issues!